Alice
by LostInTwilight
Summary: This is about Alice's life from when she 'wakes up' as a vampire, untill when she and Jasper find the Cullens.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Joseph watched, fascinated. She didn't writhe or scream in pain. She merely lay in bed, a trance-like expression hovering on her delicate face. Her eyes stared vacantly, never blinking as her body slowly changed. Her features became even more perfect than before, and the silvery shade of blue in her eyes that Joseph adored was rapidly changing. After the 1st day those beautiful irises had been nearly enveloped by the coal-black pupils within them. Before long her eyes would be completely black.

Joseph knew this was temporary. Soon they would be red. Red –blood red- eyes were one of the few ways you could identify a newly changed vampire.

Joseph glanced nervously out the window, again. He couldn't stop fidgeting and pacing. He had to admit that he was afraid. He knew that the tracker would come for her, hoping to taste the excruciatingly sweet scent that she emanated, the scent that Joseph had learned to ignore. But if she was one of their kind before he arrived, the tracker would have no interest in her… but he would be angry. And Joseph knew the price he would have to pay for angering a tracker. He would die… but he would go gladly, as long as it saved her.

A sudden knock snapped Joseph out of his thoughts. The tracker had come. Joseph sighed, and walked over to the bed. Her eyes were slowly gaining back color, even if the color was no longer blue. He was amazed that she hadn't once screamed. He remembered his rebirth… the most painful experience of both his lives. Another, more impatient, knock pulled Joseph back to reality, and he leaned down to kiss her gorgeous lips. He stood again, and sighed wistfully. He missed the passion in her that he would never get to feel again. He knew that the blackness she had locked herself in to escape the pain of her impression in that accursed asylum would block all her human memories… But Joseph still hoped she would remember him.

Joseph walked to the door and put his hand on the knob. He was suddenly aware that he was unafraid. He smiled a soft melancholy smile while the knob turned. He would do anything to keep her safe. And he knew she would be safe when she was a vampire. He just had to bide her the time to finish the change. He would gladly give her the time she needed… with his life. And then he faced the non-descript face of the tracker.

"Hello Joseph." He said congenially.

"James." Was Joseph's brusque response.

"I'd like-" Joseph abruptly cut him off.

"You're too late. She's one of us now." Joseph saw the fury dominate the false friendliness that was James' characteristic, and heard his enraged roar. Another roar ripped through the huge house, and Joseph didn't have time before attacking his enemy to realize it was his own.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter** **1**

**Awakening**

I woke, completely confused and disoriented. I scanned my surroundings, and realized that I had no idea where I was. My body instinctively tensed, preparing for action. I slowly stood, crouching in a definitely feline manner. I surveyed the room around me, looking for potential danger.

The room was oddly bland, containing only a bed, a mirror, and a desk. Everything was white, including me. I wore a white smock-like garment, and my skin was whiter than the cotton adorning it. I was strangely disturbed by the lack of color. I glanced in the mirror and gasped.

A flash of red had greeted me when my gaze passed over the mirror. My eyes locked on the vivid spark of color, and I was awed to see it radiating from _my_ eyes. I stared at them, barley noticing my small, lean stature and my so short it was almost spiky black hair. It was as if I had never seen myself before.

And then it hit me. I had no idea _who_ I was. I didn't know where I was, when it was, or why I didn't know. I sat back down on the bed, too shocked to stand. I struggled to think, to rationalize. My memory was a blank slate. I searched for some forgotten memory, or some fragment of information about myself. There was nothing. I was nearly paralyzed by fear, and misery threatened to crush me. I wanted to cry, and found myself incapable. Another revelation occurred to me… I wasn't human.

I assessed my body and my mind. I recognized the power in me… and knew that I was more strong, more cunning, and more perfect than any human could hope to be. A wave of contempt washed over me. I laughed at myself, at my fear of this frail world. Anything was mine for the taking, and I knew what I wanted. I wanted, or rather needed, to feed.

I had already decided to follow my instinct, which was making its' self know. I felt a pang of hunger attack, my mouth began to water, and if I had been human my stomach would have growled. I hissed and grinned savagely. I was hungry, and therefore I would eat. There had never been any question of what my food would be.

I ran so fast and so gracefully that I surprised myself, down to what appeared to be the entrance to the strange white house. I hesitated as I reached for the handle. I felt the fear begin to build up inside me again. Fear of the unknown, fear of my ignorance. A sharp stab of hunger pierced through the panic and my instinct again ruled.

I returned hours later, twirling and dancing through the tall golden grass. The humidity and heat didn't bother me, and the warm sun caressed my graceful figure and glowing skin. My skin literally reflected the light. It sparkled and shimmered in the sunlight, leaving even myself in awe. I reveled in my newly discovered perfection and superiority.

I was blissfully happy, well… almost. If I was being honest, it took plenty of effort to ignore and suppress my lingering fears. I focused on the euphoric sense of power that had welled up inside me as I fed. I hade made my kill with incredible speed and simplicity. The frailty of these simple humans was inspiring. I would survive in 'their' world easily.

I pivoted lightly while I stepped onto the large patio. I looked up at the house that I was beginning to think of as my own. It was obviously old, but in extraordinary condition. It had many levels, and a fantastic view, stretching all the way to the glittering bay to the South. Its shining blue water was almost equal in loveliness to my dazzling beauty.

It was obviously the only house for acres, and the seclusion was comforting. I knew after thoroughly stunning my prey with my beauty that I would certainly stand out in any crowded neighborhood.

The house would also stand out, because of it's lack of color. Apparently the bland décor of the interior had also infected the exterior. It was beautiful… but too plain. It had no distinguishing feature, except its immense size. It stretched 4 stories above me, and I had to glide several paces back to get a view of the roof. I smiled as I gazed at its grandeur. I knew that I would have never chosen its design myself, but it was the only thing even semi-familiar to me. And for that reason, maybe that reason alone, it was beautiful. I smiled, and skipped back to the door.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter** **2**

**Vision**

A sudden shift of wind wafted a new scent my way. I turned, halfway through the door, and looked for the cause. A young black-tailed doe stood at the edge of the yard, petrified. I let loose a terrifying snarl, and it bolted. I smiled, pleased that my roar wasn't frightening to humans alone.

I turned to enter the house, and stopped. I felt something change in my head, and in that instant my mind was racked with electric pain. I screamed, and clung to the door for support. The door cracked and groaned under my colossal grip, but I was oblivious even when it cracked and sent me reeling to the floor. My eyes were clamped shut and realized that I was still screaming. Then, as suddenly as it had come, the pain stopped. I opened my eyes hesitantly, and knew I was no longer in the white house, and quite possibly no longer in my body.

She was staring at herself, running through a large expanse of woodland. She caught the now familiar scent of a deer, and she dropped into a hunting stance. She saw her own black eyes grow hungrier as she quickly gained on the unsuspecting animal. When she caught sight of the young doe the predator inside her completely took over, and in a matter of seconds she was drinking deeply from the corpse. She looked up at the star-lit sky, and her eyes were no longer that shocking red… but a warm, honey color.

Another intense pain racked my body and the vision shifted suddenly.

She was gazing down on a large brick mansion in the midst of a huge expanse of golden grassland. The main door burst open, and a tall figure erupted from it so fast that he was almost a blur. He had to be a vampire to have the ability to run that swiftly. A smaller, somehow daintier, figure soon followed going even faster – if that were possible.

The small figure cried out, and her voice was beautifully expressive, clearly showing how desolate she felt. "Jasper! Wait!"

He stopped for an instant, and then took off again. But that instant was all that the woman needed. She was immediately at his side, with a firm grip on his arm.

"Maria. Let me go." He said calmly, but his burgundy eyes were oozing anger, and somewhere behind the rage there was a hint of sadness. Her grasp never loosened, and she stared up at him with eyes the same deep red as his.

"Why are you leaving us?" She said, and her voice had a frantic beauty to it.

"Maria, we've had this discussion."

"Jasper, you don't even know who you're looking for!"

"I'll know when I find her." He said, and he finally shook off her vice-like grip. He stepped back, and he began to turn away from her.

"But… You can't leave _me,_ Jasper!" She said her voice was miserable.

"Maria." He said, turning to face her again. "I don't love you."

The atmosphere abruptly changed. Maria began to smile, and then closed her eyes. She shook her head violently, and when she opened her eyes, the pain in her eyes had returned.

"Hiding the pain won't make it go away Jasper." She whispered, looking at the grass beneath her elegant shoes. When Maria looked up he was meters away and running faster than before. She watched him until he began to disappear into the distance.

A faint whisper carried by the wind reached Maria, and she fell to the ground. Her long brown curls broke free of their meticulous pins and covered her heartbroken face. Her delicate frame was racked by sobs –but was denied the release that tears would bring. No vampire could weep, no matter how desperately they wished to.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Alice**

"I'm sorry…" Jasper's last whisper to Maria and the heart-wrenching sound of her sobbing echoed through my mind while I sat on the floor, leaning against the white walls. I was scared. Totally frightened, and completely confused. I didn't know what had just happened- I only knew it was significant. I tried to make sense of whatever had just taken place, how it had occurred, and why. But they were just more questions that would have to go unanswered. I sighed, and after hours of pondering the visions or images or whatever they were, I stood restlessly. I wanted some answers, no matter how hard I tried to tell myself that I didn't need them.

I searched the house, rifling through desk drawers and peering into dark closets. I emerged somewhat triumphant from my search, proudly bearing my burden of papers, photographs, and a few garments that I deemed more suitable than my smock, up to 'my room'.

I spent an hour or so scanning the material. I was left with a small pile of photographs, and a large stack or folded together papers that were obviously a set. I scanned the photographs, and saw nothing to spark my interest. I turned my attention to the papers.

The first page read "Biloxi Times" in bold print. It had an abundance of information pertaining to the nearest town. The primary stories were that the mayor had just given a speech, that there had been a bank robbed, and that the 'state hospital' or mental asylum had been broken into and a patient was missing. I reached the last section of the paper, and a large notice caught my eyes. MISSING PERSON: MARY ALICE BRANDON. Next to the name was a young girl staring blankly at the camera that had taken the picture. She was short, slender, and had short jet-black hair. I gaped disbelievingly at the photograph, and then up at the mirror. It was _me. _I threw the paper off the bed. I didn't want to know.

After minutes of trying to rationalize things I dove toward the paper. I didn't want to know - but my curiosity made the information necessary. I greedily absorbed the information, and once the small paragraph was finished I remained disappointed.

The only information it had really given out was that she… I… was 19 years old, born in 1901, disappeared on October 15th 1920, and that no one had any idea how I had died, or where my body was. I laughed; I knew where my body was, because I was in it! Well, at least I knew one thing that no one else did. I scanned the scanty paragraph again, rolling my eyes. They could have at least given me more than _one paragraph_.

I laughed again, this time at myself. Here I was, supposedly dead (well… perhaps I actually was), alone, and knowing almost nothing about myself or anyone else, and I was irked by the fact that my obituary was only one paragraph long. I should have been in hysterics over the fact that I even _had_ and obituary!

I sighed. I had discerned all that I could from this place. I changed my clothes and admired myself in the mirror. I wished I had more of a selection to choose from… the blue, loose silk covered most of my dainty knees, which –judging by the photographs- was too long. It was loose around my arms, and had a very low waist. Below the waistline it pleated, and as I spun unnaturally fast it swished nicely. I scrounged through the room and surprised myself by finding an acceptable pair of shoes. They were simple, black heels with straps. I twirled again in the mirror, satisfied.

I had no trouble –even in the heels- gliding downstairs to the kitchen. I glanced around quickly, looking for the purse I had stashed here after stealing it from my victim. I emptied it of all but the small wad of dollar bills; I somehow knew that I would need the cash. I sat down swiftly in one of the few white chairs next to the table. I put my elbows on the table, and held my head in my hands. I needed a plan.

My gaze fell upon the pile of pictures and scraps of paper that I had removed from the purse. I stared at the bits of the woman's identity. Where those pictures of her children? Her lover? Parents? Husband? Siblings? How many people had been hurt by my actions? She had once had a life, maybe a family and I had taken her away from all the people she loved, and who had loved her. My simple need might have destroyed families and hurt more people than I could guess. Guilt closed in on me, and I grieved for the woman, her family, and for myself. Would guilt always haunt my existence? I shook my head violently, attempting to dispel the feeling. Self-pity would get me nowhere. I needed a plan, and to have a plan I needed information. I quickly reviewed all that I knew.

My name was Mary Alice Brandon –or Alice. I doubted I should tell people who I really was. Some instinct dictated that I should hide, and that my existence should remain secret. I was 19 years old, presumed dead. It was probably October, maybe November of 1920. I was in Mississippi, near the city Biloxi. I ate blood, and that particular bit of data was making itself more pronounced. I remembered nothing about my past, and most likely the strangest piece, I had pictures of people I had never before seen –or at least I couldn't remember, in my mind.

My mind subconsciously flickered back to those images, and I was filled with curiosity. Who were those people? Why had I been with the man with the bronze colored hair? Who were Jasper and Maria? And, most important, why was I having these visions? I raised my head and smiled softly._ I guess I'll just have to go find out. _I looked up, and caught my reflection in a mirror over the sink. My eyes had mere hints of that brilliant red around the rims. The rest was black, and my stomach would have growled –if I had still been human. I grinned wickedly. My questions could wait a few more hours.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Guilt**

The girl didn't even have time to scream. I had felt my consciousness shift, and instinct had taken over. I stepped back from the corpse, and stared down at what had been my prey. Her eyes were clouded over, and her skin went through a few disgusting color changes before it finally turned to a bleak white, even paler than my icy skin. I picked it up effortlessly -it weighed no more than a leaf to my iron strength, and quickly hid the evidence. I sighed as I turned away from the invisible grave, and I felt amazingly remorseful. I remembered how warm she had been, and then the fear that had frozen on her expression. But, what did I - Alice, a perfect vampire - care for a pathetic human? I tried to push the anguish away, but it persisted, and I ran back to the white house to recuperate.

I perched precariously –to anyone but me- on the railing of the large white balcony extending from the bedroom adjacent to 'mine'. I watched the sun set, and twilight descend on the pale blue sky. It was quiet, and almost relaxing. I sighed, thinking of my visions. Questions flooded my mind again, and forced me to confront the emotions I was experiencing.

I bit my lip distractedly while I wondered. I was blatantly afraid and confused… no matter how hard I tried to lie to my-self. I was worried… mostly because I was unsure as to how I would go about learning about these visions - if that was what I ended up doing. I also knew that I was sad… for odd reasons. I was sad for Jasper and Maria… and I was disappointed that I knew so little about them. I was also sad for - or rather pitied - my deceased prey. The guilt felt like a vice clamping about my head. I closed my eyes, in a vain attempt to escape my troubled thoughts. It failed miserably.

As soon as my eyes were shut, I saw the fear-struck face of my latest victim, and Jasper's desperate burgundy eyes. My thoughts began to focus around those beautiful, melancholy eyes and I felt a familiar spark of pain erupt within me. _Aw… Shit._ I thought as a shiver ran down my spine, destroying my perfect balance on the rail, and I went crashing to the ground… two stories beneath me.

She barely noticed when she landed, only a dull impression of pain broke through her vision. She was hypnotized by the images overshadowing all else in her mind.

She saw herself, sitting dangerously high up in an oak tree, gazing up at the night sky. She sighed, and swung out of the tree. She landed on her feet; unscathed. Her expression was determined, and she took off running into to the North.

I felt a brief ache, and my vision shifted.

She was looking down on a trail that wound through the thick coniferous forest surrounding it. A tall, honey-blond man walked quickly –too quickly to be human- along the nearly smothered path. A crow cawed harshly, breaking the eerie silence. He looked up, and Alice knew those eyes...Jasper's eyes. Coal-black pupils were smothering those ruby red irises, but their change of color couldn't hide whom they belonged to. Those beautiful eyes screamed out their pain and depress-ion without saying a word.

Jasper closed his eyes, and sat down gracefully on an outcropping of rock slightly off the trail. He lay back, leaning on the ancient trunk of the tree behind him. He sighed, and rubbed his temples with his pale hands.

He began to murmur quietly, and his murmurs slowly grew to loud yells of rage.

"WHO IS SHE?" He roared, slamming his fist into the solid stone beneath him. It cracked, and when his hand moved a large chunk of granite fell to the loam with a thud. Jasper didn't even notice. "_Someone_ pulled me away, tore me from the life I knew, and now I don't even know how to find her." He ranted; suddenly on his feet, pacing.

"I've been searching for her for weeks now… why can't I find her? What's wrong with me? _Why_ is fate teasing me like this?" A ferocious snarl was ripped from his lips, and he suddenly took off running. The vision followed him while he practically flew between the impossibly thick pines with ease. The vegetation began to thin, and the sound of running water was quickly becoming audible.

Jasper nearly ripped his clothes off when he arrived at the wide river, there was a wide patch; deep enough for swim-ming. He dove over the broad current and into the calmest pool in with practiced ease. There was no sign that anything but the breeze had disturbed the calm water. He surfaced, and shook the frigid water out of his gorgeous ear-length hair. Then he was underwater again, and gliding through the clear water with unbelievably fast strokes. He finally emerged, min-utes later, and swam effortlessly through the current to the shore. He lay on the bank, allowing the afternoon sun to dry his extremely pale skin. The sun reflected off his skin, and he glowed. Literally glowed, his skin reflected the light like a diamond mosaic. His perfect musculature was exposed and he was in incredible shape; however Alice was beginning to ex-pect that was the norm for vampires. His feet dangled in the water, and the small smile on his faultless lips was oddly con-tent.

"Damn." Jasper muttered, raising his leg. He laughed when he saw the tiny leech feebly trying to attach itself to his ankle. "Good luck." He chuckled again, and carelessly flicked the parasite off. "How ironic…" He mused, still smiling. His grin slowly faded though, and was replaced by the expression of depression and longing that he seemed unable to escape.

He sighed and stood. He slowly (slowly for him) donned his ragged clothing and glanced in all directions. He stared blankly ahead, and followed the stream down-river. He was hunting again, but this time it wasn't for nourishment. He needed to find what he was looking for, and until then… his stunning crimson eyes would be filled with that desperate longing that haunted him.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Thinking**

I snapped back to reality, aware of a dull ache in my left shoulder. I was lying on the ground, sprawled out in a very awkward position. I slowly pulled misled in to a sitting position, noting that I had no control over my left arm.

I tentatively lifted the offending limb, to inspect it. A pain ripped through me; almost worse than the crippling shocks that accompanied my 'visions'. I gasped and dropped my arm; it fell limply to my side. I hissed, gritting my teeth, and gripped my arm again. I was determined to get a good look at it, and I needed to lift it to so that. A loud pop issued from my shoulder joint and I hissed again at the pain. I froze nervously, hoping that I hadn't caused any serious injury.

I very carefully attempted to use the arm. I sighed with relief and grinned triumphantly when I succeeded. The pain had been reduced to a faint throbbing, and I was confident that would disappear soon. I hopped to my feet, jubilant that I had avoided permanent damage. I paused - it felt like I should have been hurt more, or possibly dead.

I shrugged off the odd feeling, and gracefully twirled to face the house. I began to skip toward the door, and stopped when I heard an owl hoot in the distance. I whirled to face the sky, realizing that it was night-time, and too beautiful to be indoors.

I climbed to the highest branches of a nearby Live Oak with ease. I felt the breeze blow through my short hair, and I leaned back against the trunk of the oak. I closed my eyes, attempting to relax. I soon gave up, and looked up at the stars, thinking. I realized in surprise that I was doing exactly as my vision had fore-told. I smiled. I knew they were true then. _I've been thinking way too much…_ I mused, sighing.

I looked down at the house, and turned my attention to it. _If I painted the walls and brought in some new furniture…_ I began planning ways to remake the house. When I had the plans all laid out in my mind, I just gazed at it.

What could I _do_ with this house? No one here would accept me… I had just killed two people who probably had families and friends in Biloxi. I knew of no other vampires, and my visions told me that I was definitely not in Mississippi in the future. I knew I wouldn't last here very long. I loved this house because it was the most familiar thing to me… I had woken up in this house. But I knew it wasn't _mine_ and I supposed that an owner could show up and claim it at any time.

But what chance did a pathetic human land-owner have against _me_? I grinned wickedly, imagining what I could do to him. I began to feel the guilt creep up on me again, and I abruptly halted that train of thought.

Why was I feeling guilty? My instinct knew that these humans were food… nothing more. But I felt for them, I pitied them. They had families, and friends. For that I envied them. What right did I have to kill innocent people, just because I felt wanted to?

But, I didn't just want to. I _needed_ to. The ravenous hunger that overtook me all too often clearly displayed my need. I didn't think I could survive without feeding.

And yet… there had been that vision… of feeding off a _deer_. I grimaced; imagining that taste. But, maybe it would be worth it. If I could restrain myself, then I could live without this piercing guilt. Maybe… I could argue with myself more tomorrow.

I jumped out of the tree, confident that I would be fine. I whooped and laughed, reveling in this incredible sensation. It was like flying! I landed with only a slight jolt to my feet, grinning immensely. The rush of wind that had followed my descent pushed dangerously hard on the oak, and it groaned and bent under the stress. I smiled even wider.

I began to head toward the house, but stopped halfway there. I had to leave. I was hiding in this white house, and I would waste away with my questions and visions if I stayed here. I needed to go, to search for my answers, and for Jasper. I had to find him first, before he found whoever he was looking for. Perhaps _I_ could erase the pain that filled his striking eyes.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Carnivore**

I'd been running for hours, when I finally had to stop. I had never run out of breath; not once gotten a cramp. I stopped only because I was thirsty, and I wanted to test my theory. The scent of a wolf pack flew my way, and I smiled hopefully. It was a somewhat more appetizing scent than the disgusting deer, and I yearned for this to be successful. I stopped thinking ration-ally, and let the hunter in me attack my prey.

I overtook the fleeing pack quickly; they were fast, but not fast enough. They put up a valiant fight, but it was futile. I snapped the necks of two large males, and the rest attacked me vengefully. When I was thinking straight again I was awed by their loyalty. Any human would have been running and screaming. I hastily wiped them out, eager to feed before their blood got cold.

After it was all said and done, I had killed nine wolves in a matter of minutes. I had been using only my hands and teeth, and I was wearing a dress. I grinned smugly. I could tame bloodlust… I may have still been a complete carnivore, but I was no longer a menace. My hunger had abated, and I was washing the blood out of my inconvenient clothes.

I was thoroughly disgusted with the way the dress had been performing. It had ripped in several places, and I was determined to steal some pants. I had completely given up on the shoes, and they had been discarded miles ago. I was confused as to how human women survived. But I supposed humans didn't regularly fight wolf packs or run a mile a minute.

I held up the tattered attire, and sighed. I rolled my eyes, and hung the dress in a magnolia tree. I took off running, feeling free, but somewhat uncomfortable. I would have to find some suitable clothes soon.

Weeks later; I sat at the edge of a small creek somewhere in Illinois. I dangled my dainty bare feet in the cool, clear water. Somehow they had remained un-calloused and un-blistered; I smiled at the reminder of my changelessness. I wore some pants that I had cut to my knees, and just enough of a cotton dress to cover my chest. It was much more comfortable than a dress, and I was proud to have not stained it with blood… yet.

I had discovered that I very much enjoyed getting new clothes, and this was the third outfit I had gone through. At the pace which I was moving they wore down quickly. I stared at my reflection and smiled.

My eyes were no longer the stunning red that I had begun to see as sinister, but a striking topaz. They had been that way since I had stopped feeding off humans. It was difficult, but I was right. It had been worth it, I was no longer haunted by the guilt that I now knew accompanied the taking of a life. I was gazing down at my eyes as they rippled with the constant movement of the stream when I felt a familiar jolt of pain. I immediately knew it warned me of a vision.

I had learned to tolerate the pain; if I stayed perfectly still and just let it happen, it was considerably less excruciating. And then thinking about _how_ abruptly ended, and I was over-involved in what was happening in my mind. I went rigid, letting the vision take over my consciousness.

A human woman stood, perilously close to the cliff's rim. She was all alone, and tears poured from her brown eyes. A harsh wind whipped her long caramel colored hair across her face. Her lower lip trembled, and then she was oddly serene. She stared calmly at the majestic view beneath her. She closed her eyes when the wind gusted again. Her eyes remained closed as the let the wind carry her forward… and off the edge.

The scene followed the woman as she fell, and until her body was carried to the morgue. A tall blonde, stunningly gorgeous doctor lifted the sheet off her face and gasped.

"Esme?" He whispered in surprise as he stared down at the face he hadn't seen since she broke her leg ten years ago. _She was so happy then… _He mused, looking down at her tortured expression.

He stared at her for a moment, and then bent to kiss her cheek. A faint pounding rhythm reached his ear as he bent closer. He looked at her neck, and knew it was a pulse. His golden eyes opened wide in amazement. She was still alive. It was too subdued to have been heard by a human, but vampires have excellent senses. Another gasp broke through his doctor's composure, and then sadness darkened his features. He knew she wouldn't survive much longer… unless…

He smiled softly, and bent to bite the veins in her neck. Moments later, she twitched insignificantly, and then she shrieked in pain. Her eyes flew open, and they over-flowed with tears. The doctor stroked her face gently, shushing her quietly.

"Shh… It's all-right. It'll be over soon." She whimpered and looked up at his face through her tears.

"D-doctor…" She struggled to say, "C-cull-en?"

"Yes." He replied softly. "Call me Carlisle." She smiled - despite the pain - at the man she had never forgotten.

It was abruptly morning, and they were no longer in the morgue. Carlisle sat next to Esme, who lay in a large bed, staring at her hands. They twitched uncontrollably, due to the pain from venom coursing through her body. But they were changing too. Their Caucasian skin was slowly growing paler and paler, until it was as white as fresh snow. They were also more beautiful than before. How it happened was beyond description, but they were suddenly… perfect.

Her whole body had gone through the same process. Paling, then changing until it was remarkably attractive. Her eyes glowed red and she continued to stare at her hands until the trembling stopped. When it finally did she slowly looked up at Carlisle, her eyes full of questions.

"Esme Platt?" He paused, and she shook her head slightly before correcting him.

"My last name is Evenson now." She replied, and her now extremely beautiful face was marred by sadness

"Do you _want_ it to be?" Carlisle asked, deciphering her expression. Esme shook her head, and Carlisle smiled compassionately. "He won't be a part of your life if you don't want him." She looked up at him hopefully, and she dared not question his, in case he was wrong. She needed to believe him. "Your life has changed a lot in the past two days."

"What?" She asked, confused.

"You're now a… vampire." Carlisle explained cautiously. "So am I." Her eyes opened wider, but that was the only indication that she was surprised or afraid. Carlisle seemed to gain confidence from her calm attitude, and he continued. "But we don't feed off humans, unlike most of our kind."

"Then what do you… we… eat?"

"Animals. It's difficult, but worth it." While he explained she leaned back against the headboard of the bed, and sighed. _I just wanted to die… I have nothing left, and now this? Why won't this torture end?_

"Why did you change me?" She demanded, suddenly angry. "Isn't it obvious I wanted to die!"

"Because, I remembered you as the happy girl you once were and I… I couldn't let that disappear. I thought, maybe… I could make you happy again." Carlisle admitted quietly. Her face softened, and she smiled as her anger faded rapidly. He met her gaze, and he came out of his chair to sit on the edge of the bed. "Can I try?" He asked tenderly, and Esme smiled wider.

"You already have." She murmured as she leaned forward and kissed him.

I woke from my trance smiling. Lately my visions had been much more pleasant. Many of them had consisted of Jasper and I together, and many more had shown a group of five other vampires living the way I was… feeding off animals. Esme and Carlisle were the 'parents' of this group.

I envied them increasingly. I longed to have a 'family' like they did. I had become increasingly lonely. I hadn't had any contact with other vampires, and the contact with humans was mostly stealing from them. I felt bad about that… but it was better than killing them, I justified. I sighed. This was what happened when I didn't keep busy. I thought too much.

I hopped up-right, catching the scent of a mountain lion. I was instantly ravenous, only then realizing that it had been almost four days since I had fed. The cravings had been hitting me less often, and less severely. I was bewildered, but happy. It was easier to search without the constant distraction of hunger.

Then the scent began to fade, and I quickly chased after it. The predator in me took over, and I eagerly raced toward my prey. Mountain lions always put up a good fight.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Alone**

I sat on a boulder with my head in my hands, sobbing tearlessly. The loneliness was just too much. It had been at least six months since my awakening, and I hadn't had any intimate contact or conversations with anyone. The only times I talked to humans was when I couldn't restrain myself, and then ate them. It wasn't exactly the best relationship. And the single reason I knew other vampires existed was due to my in-explicable visions.

Those mysterious visions were the only things that kept me going. They promised that someday I would be with Jasper, and that we would eventually belong somewhere. Someday I would have a family. But how far away was that someday? I had gathered that vampires were immortal from my visions. I had all eternity to find these people… but I wanted it to happen sooner. I couldn't be alone for much longer. The depression would kill me.

But it couldn't kill me. I had fallen off a two-story balcony, and survived. I doubted anything could kill me. Oddly enough, that fact merely added to my depression, and I sobbed harder.

When my ragged breathing returned to normal, I closed my eyes and searched for a vision. I now had more control over my mind, and I could easily reduce the pain to the level of simple static electricity. I could conjure the images up into my mind at any time, in addition to the random visions that flickered through me spontaneously. I was also slowly gaining the ability to focus it of one person or group of people. I was proud of my abilities, and I practiced often. I had plenty of time.

My body became very still, and I concentrated fiercely on finding Jasper. I twitched ever so slightly when I felt a small shock. I didn't even notice the sounds of footsteps in the distance I was so engrossed in what I saw.

Jasper was reading. He was in a large - empty - library sitting at a large table alone, with the space normally occupied by people covered in stacks of books. Many referred to vampires, and myths or legends. The remainder was mostly scholarly books, perhaps text-books. He was completely engrossed in a book about the Civil War, and he barely noticed when a young human woman sat lightly on the edge of his table.

"Can I help you?" He murmured, attempting to make his voice un-attractive. He failed. His eyes never left the large volume before him.

"Perhaps _I_ could help _you_?" She suggested, and Jasper looked up to see her unbuttoning her blouse. Her skin was flushed, and the scent of her blood filled an area too large for her own good. Alice watched as the bloodlust filled Jasper's eyes, and he looked up from her chest to her throat. A devious smile lit up his features, and the red glow of his eyes made him appear demonic.

Fear replaced the foolish woman's arousal, and before she could scream he had covered her mouth and rushed her through the abandoned building to a bathroom where he could dine in ensured privacy.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Friend**

I returned to myself much easier now, and even through my frustration at Jasper's actions, I was instantly aware of someone breaking through the brush behind me. I stood, twirling to face the noise inhumanly fast. An adolescent girl -13 or 14 years at most- yelped in surprise, and then was gone. Only the tall shadows of the numerous pines remained. I gaped at the empty space, blinking vigorously to clear my eyesight. After a moment I shook my head, and turned to continue on my way.

"Wait!" A voice called from behind, and I reluctantly turned. I didn't want to see anyone disappear again. The girl was back, smiling sheepishly at me. I stared at her warily, prepared for surprises. "Sorry about that, you startled me. I'm Fox."

"How did you do that?" I asked, inspecting her. There was some-thing different about her. She was about my height, maybe an inch taller. She had a long braid of black hair, reaching her waist. Her eyes were dark, but she was too far away from me to see any other details in them. She had pale skin, but if you looked carefully, it hinted at a darker tone. She wore natural clothing, a skirt and leggings of deer hide and a shirt of simple cloth. Beaded jewelry adorned her neck and head, and she was very beautiful. She laughed at my suspicious question and tone.

"We all have our talents, don't we?" Fox replied, smiling wider. I was still mystified, but I wasn't exactly normal either. "I didn't catch your name…" _What harm could it do?_ I mused.

"Alice." I was smiling even through my suspicion. She had a… exuberance that was catchy. I felt more and more comfortable with her every second. She stepped forward to shake my hand, in the process walking through a gap in the shadows.

Her skin reacted to the sun the same way mine had.

I gasped, and she stared at me. Her head cocked slightly, and confusion dominated her expression. A curious light flickered in her black eyes rimmed with crimson. A huge grin broke out across my face, and I laughed in delight. _Another vampire!_ I thought joyfully.

"What?" She demanded, stopping just beyond the patch of light and right in front of me.

"You're a vampire too!" I exclaimed, and the small part of my thoughts that wasn't occupied by relief or happiness was wondering why she wasn't as excited as I was.

"Yes…" She said cautiously, "What, you haven't seen another vampire before?" I shook my head, still beaming.

"No, I haven't. It's been six months and I've had no contact, with anyone!"

"Only six months?" She questioned, "You're a new one, aren't you?" I nodded. "Where's the person who changed you?"

"Was there one?" She continued staring incredulously. My exuberance began to ebb. "I don't remember…" I trailed off, but abruptly shook off the empty feeling that accompanied my absence of memory. "But, never-mind." I could still see the interest in her eyes, but she saw the subject closing and left it at that. I knew she could see the intense curiosity in my eyes too, and she and I quickly struck up a conversation.

We talked for hours. I learned she was a Quileute Indian from the state of Washington, and she and her brother had become vampires and left their tribe. She was 14 years old, and had been for decades. She was shocked when I told her that I remembered nothing of my human life, and up until now I hadn't known I had ever been human. She was also in awe, and slightly revolted by my choice of cuisine.

"_Animals!_" She exclaimed, "_Why_?"

"I just felt so… guilty. It still pains me to think about the lives I've destroyed, and I _knew_ what to do, because I saw myself doing it."

"You saw yourself?" Would that bewildered expression never disappear?

"I have these visions. They show the future." I calmly explained, expecting another exclamation of surprise.

"Oh. That makes sense… sort of." She laughed slightly. It was my turn to stare in confusion. She only laughed more. "Well, if I can become invisible then seeing the future is no surprise."

"Is that how you vanished?" She nodded while I smiled. "That makes sense… sort of." I quoted, and she collapsed in laughter. I couldn't help but join in; she had such a compelling laugh.

After a few more minutes of chatter, she rose off the rock she had been sitting on, stretching. She smiled winningly while she asked me to come with her to meet her brother.

"I promised I'd be back a few hours ago." She giggled, "But he's used to me being late. You should come with me!"

She didn't need to ask me twice, I was eager for more conversation.

"Besides, what kind of sister would I be if I didn't introduce every pretty girl I see to him?" I laughed with her, after being reassured that she wasn't introducing me as a date.

"Fox, I don't-" She cut me off.

"Don't worry; I'd rather have you as my friend than my brother's companion." She smiled at me and I grinned back.

_Friend…_ Ran through my mind over and over and I never stopped smiling as we raced through the trees to their camp.


	10. Author's Note

Hi everyone. Thank you all so much for the reviews, you are all very encouraging and helpful. I'd like to let you all know that I will be out-of-town for a while starting in a few days, so I won't be updating for a few weeks. Thanks for your patience.

I'd also like to ask for some advice. I have having extreme difficulty coming up with a name for Fox's brother. If anyone has ideas, I would greatly appreciate it if you could share them with me.

And, one last thing. I am aware that some of the words in past chapters have unnecessary hyphens. I originally typed Alice in a large font, and added hyphens. When I made the font smaller, the hyphens moved and I attempted to fix them all. However, I obviously missed some. Sorry about that.

Thanks again for all your support! Check for updates in a few weeks!

Cora


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